Style Inspiration

I was going to write about this a week ago but for some reason I was blocked. The topic is boyfriend jeans. An article was brought to my attention and in it the writer, a self-proclaimed feminist, applauds the “oversized” silhouette because she comes to the conclusion that this particular trend is a step in the right direction as it does not involve dressing to please men. Quite the opposite, she argues, it obscures the female form and is the antithesis of “sexy” as defined by, oh say, Victoria’s Secret and its ilk.

If she likes that she’s going to absolutely love what’s coming this Spring…

Designer Birkenstocks.

No, I’m not kidding.

What she fails to understand is that while some women may dress for male approval, none of those women are currently employed in the fashion industry, which invariably sets the retail trends as much as 2 years in advance of when they actually hit stores like the one she visited.

No, women in fashion (pun intended), dress solely and explicitly for other women. We want the female side eye. We want a woman to stop us and ask us to coffee because she wants to be us so badly she may skin us and wear us around town. 100% of beauty/hair/apparel/footwear trends are initially based on what will excite the ladies because they’re the ones buying them.

Which brings us back to the boyfriend jean and my writer’s block. I think I wasn’t excited to write about it because this ship has sailed. It sailed so long ago it’s actually come back around again. And you know what they say… if you wore a trend the first time, you’re too old to wear it properly the second. This is not to say that trends have age limits, they don’t. What I mean is if your mom has a picture of you wearing a crop top, this trend is not for you this time. Pick a different one. Don’t rehash your sartorial past.

I have an example of my own. When I was in high school the palazzo pant was huge (puns, puns everywhere!) and I was on board. It looked horrible on me then but I was in high school, air looked horrible on me. So when Zara re-introduced the silhouette for this Spring I balked.

Leave it to someone else. I’ve matured and so has my body. I’ve learned from my mistakes and never will I ever wear this trend again.

Last night I did laundry. It’s related trust me. This is an event of note because it happens so rarely… call it the advantages of having a large wardrobe. Anyway, I inadvertently put all of my work clothes in the soak cycle which left me scrambling this morning. It’s freezing at my job all the time which forces me to wear leggings under my jeans in the colder months. I’m looking at you Polar Vortex. The only pair I had left that would allow me to do that was my $300 boyfriend jeans I hadn’t worn in years. I’m getting to the point I promise.

The moment I zipped them up I remembered why. The boyfriend trend is over. Very over. They felt wrong. Don’t forget there is a huge difference between oversized (just a few sizes up so they’re not tight) and boyfriend jeans (long crotch, requires a belt, looks like you may or may not have a package and a dump in your pants). To illustrate…

Boyfriend…

Oversized…

“OMG look at how cute and totally not tight my pants are!”

NO!

If your actual boyfriend can’t leave the house wearing them without noticing little things like the zipper being on the wrong side, they’re not boyfriend jeans. Not that this ever happened. In my defense he was much smaller at the time and I was much bigger. Okay, maybe I was just much bigger. Bygones.

Anyway, oversized = in, boyfriend = out. Maybe they’ll be back, maybe they won’t. But if they do come around again I won’t be involved. My ass is too big, my thighs are too wide, and my legs are too short. It was fun while it lasted though.

Totally lying. They’re so comfortable and a new staple. Veer toward a darker wash.

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